Gnatterings

At (almost) 28, I am no longer a rock star...

T's band had a reunion gig last night at a regular spot on the Lower East Side. Met with a girlfriend and her husband before for dinner and a bottle of wine. Had a couple drinks at the show and got home around 1am.

Woke up this morning at 8:04am (school starts at 8:30 mind you) completely hung over. Was it just from being too tired? Was it the drinks? Was it PMS? What the fuck? What happened to the days of staying out until 2-3am drinking and getting up for work at 8am?

Books...

Just finished The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold and started Lucky by same author. If anyone has read either book, let me know what you think...I am moved by her style of writing as well as her subject matter.

T and I are avid readers...We'd love to get some recommendations. After Graubard introduced me to Murakami, I've hooked T's entire family onto his novels. Let me know what people are reading these days...........

kids say the damndest things

This morning, my special needs student says to me, "I've hated all of my teachers." I said, "Even me?" He looked at me for a while and replied, "Not all the time."

This afternoon, we were putting three more words on our word wall (very, want, and who). After introducing each word I had the students give me a sentence using that word. For the word want a boy raised his hand and stated, "I want to kill my teacher."

Man, I love my job!

Brooklyn buzzers...

As most know who live in apartments, there is usually a way to inform people you have arrived at their apartment. Nowadays it's a buzzer with an intercom system attached. Some buildings even have video monitors so you can actually see who's outside.

Not Brooklyn and definitely not in my neighborhood. People standing on the street will yell up at the apartment building for the person they want. They will yell and yell and yell until they get a response. What a joy it is to hear someone yelling in the middle of the night just because they want to be let in. What a happy thing to see in the morning as kids stop to pick their friends up and yell and yell and yell until the friend appears out of the building...Gotta love this city!

Why I wish there are yellow cabs in Brooklyn...

I have to admit I'm spoiled by the closeness of my school to my home. I walk half a block, jump on the R line, ride to the sixth stop, and walk two blocks to school. Spoiled right?

Today I catch the R coming home after school right when I enter the station (always a happy moment when no waiting is involved). Two stops down it announces no local stops and the next express stop is past my destination. I think I'll ride to the next stop and cross the station to catch a local going the other way (from Manhattan). I find out NO local stops either direction- apparently there's a police investigation at my stop. So I have to walk home.

I'm not necessarily lazy, but after a hard day at work (and climbing those four flights of stairs numerous times a day), I just want to be home, not walk home. Oh why no yellow cabs in Brooklyn?

A night away in Maine....Bethel, Maine.

What a different way of life. We arrived in the small town about 2pm yesterday afternoon and tried to find one restaurant open to serve us lunch. The only pizza place in town was open. Next we looked around the town....took us about 15 minutes to drive around the entire town. Stayed at a quaint Inn with its own pub in the basement. After our "French" dinner at another local Inn, we headed downstairs. They had live music (we could stand it for about a beer) and took in the locals on their typical night out (reminded me a lot of Fort Collins, CO). Boy did we stick out! After retiring to the Inn's lobby to play cards, a local asked us where we were from and what brought us "city folk" to Bethel, Maine. What an evening. T's step-brother attends a boarding school in town and we decided to go up to see him (along with T's sister and her sweetheart). Today little B showed us around his school and it made me think about a possibility of teaching in a setting like that (8-10 students per class). But, the thoughts fade away as we returned to the city that I love so much and have started to call home. When the man at the Inn asked where we were from, I didn't hesitate to state "Brooklyn." Usually I answer "I just moved here from CA. Quite the momentous statement! I'm happy here in my new home- especially since we caught that little mouse who was taunting me so much last week! Now, another weekend ends and a new school week begins...

This is why I do what I do....

A parent from a student I had my first year of teaching called tonight. Her son drove me CRAZY...He's a sweet kid with a heart of gold and a smart mind, but extreme ADHD. For non-believers, this kid would make you believe! He put me in tears my first day of teaching because I just didn't know what to do with him.

Anyway, I was the one to bring his situation to his parents and stayed a constant "fighter" for him in the school when he drove everyone else crazy. Even 3000 miles away, I keep in contact with his family to help him when I can. His mom emailed me a few weeks ago about setting up a Section 504 plan at school with him (a legal document stating his disability and specifying the accommodations needed to make him reach his full learning potential as a student, the only plan for students with ADHD), and she wanted my help. So, I researched and pulled out all my old college material. We talked and I forwarded websites with information to help her before the big meeting.

She called tonight to tell me how she was so prepared the Principal was blown away (he thinks 504's are done in 30 minutes and this parent made sure every thing was in order before signing- 2 days, 4 faxes, and 3 hours later). She called me her anonymous advocate (as she didn't want any repercussions to my mom who works at the school I left).

For over an hour all she could do was thank me and tell me how much of a difference I have made in her son's life, in her family's lives. She kept telling me I was her saving grace and even as the boy grows older, she will always hold me in her heart for changing his life- making his life better. She even got a little teary when telling me she wished I still lived in CA because she wanted to nominate me for a teaching award for all my caring and hard work. She put it plain and simple- I make a difference in every child's life I teach. A reminder for shitty days at work, which seems to be the norm these days.

Update on the "dick"...

Little girl back in school today, but NOT her normal sweet self. Very withdrawn and sad looking (another teacher came in to drop off papers and picked her out immediately by her solitude and solemn face). During a group activity, I asked Little boy to pick a partner to help (chanting out ways to spell sight words-welcome to third grade phonics). Little boy picked Little girl and her face dropped. I intervened and immediately after the lesson, she "felt sick and wanted to go home."

During my prep, I went to talk to the Principal about it. He brushed it off..."If it was fifth grade I would worry, but third grade I'm not so upset about," is what he said. These are city kids- they know what this means! Principal says he will call parents and talk to them...Who knows about the follow-up on this....Frustrating!

Little girl's Dad picked her up from school today and wants a conference person-to-person with the Principal. Way to go dad! Apparently last night Little girl was trying to get out of going to school again...Oi Vey! TGIF!

So...I am finding out the politics of "inside management" at school...

I talked with the Assistant Principal today to see what had been done to follow up from yesterday's little dick note. The little girl was absent from school today which I found very suspicious. I had to refresh the AP on what happened and asked if she contacted both sets of parents. In my mind, this is severe (sexual harassment if you will) and both sets of parents have the right to know what had happened and how the school plans to deal with it so it doesn't happen again. She really didn't want to make the calls, as if she wanted to "hide" it from the parents. I expressed my concern because all I could think about was being this little girl's parents and hearing this had happened.

How would you feel if your 8 year old was told to suck a boy's dick at school?

The AP kept asking me if the parents had contacted me. "NO, that's not the fucking point," I wanted to scream at her. I think it's a parent's right to know what happens to their child at school. When this little boy punched a girl in the face last week, they sent a note home telling what happened (at least I think they did). yes, this boy has many, many problems with self control and anger.

AGH! After school the girl's father happened to be there (he didn't know she wasn't at school today), and I told him what happened. There we were standing on the street outside of school in 40 degree weather and I had to tell him his little girl (the baby of the family) was given a note that told her to suck a dick, little dick. Needless to say he was furious and wanted to talk with he AP to find out what the school planned to do about this manner. After leaving him to head home I had horrible thoughts flashing through my mind...Could I get fired for going out on my own when I know they are trying to "cover" it up?

Interesting aspects of teaching vocabulary words to my students who are mostly Hispanic, Puerto Rican, and Asian:

We were discussing words that describe the characters in the storybooks we read in class. As a teacher I find this a good lesson on adjectives as well.

One student says the word "nosy." I ask what "nosy" means (does the character have a big nose, etc.). One little girl raises her hand and says (hand in the air, shaking her head from side to side) "Being all up in someone else's business." How do I not laugh at this?

some third grade experiences today:

One of my male students wrote a note to a girl student in my class that read "You can suck my little dick after school today." Um, at least he spelled everything correctly?

The Union leader from my school gave me my rally t-shirt today. Um, only a day late jackass!

I found out my special needs student talked about killing himself last year. Not just ranting, but really planning out details. The kid doesn't function above a 5-6 year old so at least they took it as a warning and he's in counseling now.

A student farted during read aloud after lunch (very common occurrence) and immediately raised her hand with a frantic look on her face. Very close to a poopy third grade pant in class today.

Most of my students are second language learners...today my heart broke when a little girl from Ecuador pulled out her English/Spanish dictionary to help her figure out what I was saying.

Note for those of you who aren't around kids between the ages of 7-9 much: kids this age barely know how to use a regular dictionary, let alone a bilingual one!!

The big rally was today and I have to say I'm a little disappointed.

More than 2,000 teachers showed up at City Hall and there were all walks of life represented as speakers, but the general apathy (is this the right word I'm looking for) of teachers I talked to today at school was amazing. My school got a group of people to go, yet nothing was mentioned about our pre-rally gathering until the end of the school day. There was a note from my chapter leader in my school mailbox, but had I not gone there after school searching on my own for information, I would have never seen it. Earlier in the day I scoured the classes of teachers that are new (like me) or colleagues I've gotten closest to over the last two months. The general response was "Yeah, I was going to go, but I'm so tired and have so much to do, I don't think I'll make it out today." Walking away rejected, I felt sad...if not today then when?
I was planning on going alone when a friend of T's called after school to let me know he'd like to go with me to check things out. On the train ride out to city hall, I was able to get on my soapbox and tell him what we, as teachers, are rallying for: LETTING TEACHERS TEACH AND LETTING STUDENTS LEARN! Once we got there, it felt so good to hear others sharing my questions and concerns in a public forum. It was a definitely a validating experience. It felt good to be there and I look forward to the next one- when we can get more people there to support the cause. Yes, I'm tired too and I didn't get to as much work as I thought I would tonight (the story of my life), but I feel I made a difference today- it was a small impact, but still an impact.

T and I found our apartment (in a 4-story walk up) in Park Slope (Brooklyn, NY) last year when I was still living in CA. For the price we decided to jump on it...2 bedroom floor thru, roof deck with views of downtown Manhattan, newly renovated, new appliances, 1/2 block to major subway line. It's not in the nicest part of the glorious neighborhood that is Park Slope, but we haven't had too many problems.

Apparently when T moved here in March we had a little mouse problem that he thought he took care of so didn't mention to me. The week after I moved in in June, I was up late one night and saw a little critter scampering around the kitchen. This is when I found out about the last few months and the many mice thwarted by the traps. We set traps and tried to block any holes where they could get in from the walls and thought we were successful. However, we found mouse shit onthe stove so we decided to set another trap. We went to a wonderful wedding of dear friends in the city in late August and came home drunk at 3am to find a squeaking noise coming from somewhere in the kitchen. After searching we found the little guy under the stove range with its little foot caught in the trap. It had tried to go back to his home and dragged the trap with it. (If I seem a little sentimental about this horrible, disease carrying rodent, it's because of my beloved Ernie who just passed away- little hamster heaven is his home now). T put it out of its misery and we've been "mouse free" for almost two months.

Today I come home from work and am sorting through mail at the kitchen table when I see something run across the kitchen out of the corner of my eye. I'm thinking cockroach since they move more freely in the daylight with people around. No such luck- we have another visitor from the sewers.

There's nothing like grading third grade papers on the couch and seeing a mouse running back and forth from the stove range and the dish washer. Oh these are the joys of living in these old NYC buildings- rodents, bugs, sloped floors, uneven walls, crazy fucking neighbors, and Staten Island landlords.

So here I am on the eve of the great rally to let teachers teach in NYC tomorrow afternoon and I am thinking about the injustice done to teachers around this country. Today in an after school meeting (mandatory to attend per contract), I was told (again) that I needed to have "running records" in my reading assessment binder for each student. Running records were introduced in the 60's (I believe) and are 100 word stories the kids read so you can get a feel for where they are struggling and what you need to work on with that student. Although a 100 words long, running a running record on one student can take up to 15-20 minutes each. I have 27 kids they expect me to do this one-on-one paperwork assessment with every other month. Instead, I make better use of my time to call each student up individually with the book they are reading. Being trained in assessment, I am able to talk about the book, have the student read to me, ask questions about the story, and still make notes on what I need to work on with that student in 5 minutes. Much easier to get to all 27 kids in a matter of a week and the kids are much more involved because it's an authentic way to assess- it's the real book they are reading and not some story pulled out of thin air that they've never seen before. I do this assessment every week because it also gives me the chance to teach individual students reading strategies I wouldn't see spending my time filling out a structured piece of paper.

I have always wanted to teach- when I went to college getting into the College of Education was my number one priority at the U of A. I spent hours upon hours researching methods on the different ways to teach each subject. I spent many hours (unpaid) in classrooms observing and participating in the lessons of the expanding curriculum content. I took educational psychology so I could understand the young mind's ever changing emotional and physical, as well as educational, needs and demands. I took classes upon classes with field work and case studies on students with special needs and how, as a teacher I can make modifications in my instructional day to ensure their academic successes. I learned how to assess (performance based as well as content) my students myself because we are hoping these Standardized tests will one day become a thing of the past (but with a robot like Bush in office that won't happen any time soon).

To put it simply, I spent too much time and money to get a BA in Elementary Education to have businessmen like Michael Bloomberg, George W. Bush, and even opposed Gray Davis tell me how to do my job. I'm fed up with the paperwork...this is NOT corporate America where I get paid 70 grand a year to trade stocks and bonds (probably a low guess on pay) to boost our country's economy. I get paid $39, 000 BEFORE TAXES to teach our future economic leaders.

Since I was a kid, I have always had this dream of teaching elementary school and changing the world. I was always optimistic about my role as an educator to help create these powerful minds and well-rounded individuals that would become our future leaders. In my mind, I have always felt born to teach.

When I started my teaching career in Thousand Oaks, California I was introduced to the politics of state, county, and school district regulations on educators. In the mid-upper class school I taught at there was never much upheaval among educators, yet there was always a lot of complaining. I'm not the type to just sit back and take "it" so I was usually the one who spoke out. Not to say things changed, this is a long history of regulatory management, but I felt I was actually making a difference- not just with my students, but with my colleagues and the parents of these children I spent the greater part of the day with for 180 school days.

The kids in this school were all English speaking, predominantly white kids with rich parents who moved to the burbs to secure some safety of their wealth with nice houses, terrific schools, and a conservative community feel. (Yes, Thousand Oaks is a highly Republican city.) Sometimes I felt as though I wasn't really teaching these kids- I felt the pressures of the teaching aesthetics (dress code for teachers, classrooms full of decorations and materials bought with my own money, extra programs to teach besides the required subjects, etc.). I had so many parent volunteers in the classroom I actually had to make work up for them to do (last year I had 12 parents that came in to help weekly). The parents at this school felt that with their secured wealth they could ask for anything they wanted from the school and get it (which in most cases they did). The most exaggerated example of this "power" is when parents requested a teacher, not because of how they teach, but because of their looks, reputation as a person, or classroom aesthetics. I had only taught at the school for one year when I became one of the most popular second grade teachers that parents requested. These parents didn't know me, but they saw my fun filled Dalmatian themed classroom and heard I was the "warm and fuzzy" teacher. Flattering yes, but has nothing to do with the way I teach or what I teach. I didn't become a teacher to spend thousands of dollars on classroom decorations, "teaching" clothes, and gifts for my students- I started to teach to teach!

i just spent the greater part of the evening reading over blogs to get some ideas of templates, settings, etc. i find myself so drawn into reading new and archived materials. thanks to all bloggers for the inspiration and motivation to let loose.

CAPGAS crew: I'm a Graubardian (interesting that I lived with him for over a year, yet haven't seen him since MM's 30th b-day in SF)

As most of you know I am now a public servant for 27 third grade kids in a public school in Brooklyn. I have found the NYC public school system quite depressing. The UFT (United Federation of Teachers-my union) is organizing an "Educators Want What Students Need" Rally at City Hall (Manahattan -so Bloomberg can't igonore us outside his offices) on Tuesday, October 21 from 4:30 - 6:00pm (after our already grueling school day).

We are protesting rules and conditions that hamstring teachers from helping students succeed. We are supporting letting teachers teach, conditions in the schools that improve teaching and learning, valuing teacher expertise, and teachers working together. We are opposing: huge class sizes, unsafe schools, overcrowded classrooms and school buildings, lockstep mandatory lessons and ridiculous bulletin board expectations and restrictions, and rules that stop teachers and other educators from meeting the needs of their students and schools.

If any of you in the NYC area have the time and the desire to come to support teacher's rights to teach, we'd love all the support we can get!

After reading so many interesting blogs, I have decided to join the blogger world. I figure as a new NYC dweller, a public school teacher, and an Amazon woman I have ideas to get off my chest too. Be patient with me as I learn to type my thoughts instead of writing them in my "writer's notebook."