Saturday, July 31, 2004
I Love Cable TV...
I just caught the last 45 minutes of the HBO Bill Maher political talk show and it was hysterical. They had on two conservative Republicans (Drier and Owens) along with Michael Moore and the former Prime Minister of Canada (Campbell). Interesting round table discussions, especially when Drier (sp?) starts talking about the incorrect parts of Fahrenheit 9/11 and then admitted to never having even seen it. What are people afraid of? Then he went on to liken Moore to Hitler's propaganda (lies, lies, lies he claims). Wow! Yes, it is a shame about our limited party system's candidates. It is a shame that the conventions are no longer suspenseful and actually nominate the running mates right then and there. It's a shame it's all publicized now- but I guess that's the state of our nation now. Maher compared it to a beauty pageant, except there are 2 men running and not 50 women.
The highlight for me though was when Ralph Nader stopped by and Moore and Maher got on their knees and begged him not to run. It was also interesting to hear the former Prime Minister of Canada say that when third party candidates don't get elected as a "head" they are offered positions within their House of Commons. We are the strongest nation on earth, yet we have so much to learn.
I just caught the last 45 minutes of the HBO Bill Maher political talk show and it was hysterical. They had on two conservative Republicans (Drier and Owens) along with Michael Moore and the former Prime Minister of Canada (Campbell). Interesting round table discussions, especially when Drier (sp?) starts talking about the incorrect parts of Fahrenheit 9/11 and then admitted to never having even seen it. What are people afraid of? Then he went on to liken Moore to Hitler's propaganda (lies, lies, lies he claims). Wow! Yes, it is a shame about our limited party system's candidates. It is a shame that the conventions are no longer suspenseful and actually nominate the running mates right then and there. It's a shame it's all publicized now- but I guess that's the state of our nation now. Maher compared it to a beauty pageant, except there are 2 men running and not 50 women.
The highlight for me though was when Ralph Nader stopped by and Moore and Maher got on their knees and begged him not to run. It was also interesting to hear the former Prime Minister of Canada say that when third party candidates don't get elected as a "head" they are offered positions within their House of Commons. We are the strongest nation on earth, yet we have so much to learn.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Gnat Fired Up After Speech...
America CAN Do Better-Help IS On The Way!
Kerry/Edwards 2004! November 2, 2004
America CAN Do Better-Help IS On The Way!
Kerry/Edwards 2004! November 2, 2004
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Updated pictures of the kittens...
Lenny Sleeping In His Favorite Box
The Boys Sleeping
T and the Boys
Lenny Sleeping In His Favorite Box
The Boys Sleeping
T and the Boys
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
I'm Done With "This" Side of Fourth Avenue, Brooklyn...
I love the city- I do. The diversity and the experiences are unlike anywhere else in this country (or world for some people), yet I am growing tired of certain aspects of city living. Well, not necessarily city living, but where we live. I'm done with the "wrong" side of Fourth Avenue in Park Slope.
Park Slope is generally considered the best place to live. Great schools, beautiful brownstone buildings, fun shopping, and lots of train and bus access. However, we live on the "other side of the slope". There aren't many residential buildings on our block and we are one of few white folk who live on the block. Yep, J-Lo could have been Jenny from our block. We picked the apartment because it has two rooms, is a floor thru space with a roof deck, and is really close to the train stop (literally at the end of the block). Oh, and the rent was good. From the first time I was in our place I knew it was going to be a test of strength to stay. Now that we've been here for over a year, I am itching to get the hell out. Just some fun day to day experiences on our block for me:
1. T moved in first while I was still living in CA. While out over Spring Break, I was interviewing at some schools and heading towards the train. A guy walks by me and says, "You's the prettiest bitch I ever seen."
2. Last summer after I moved in the big brother and his girlfriend were in the city and she took the train out from mid-town by herself to meet us at the apartment for a concert in Prospect Park. She got off the train and walked hurriedly to the apartment with a scared expression saying "This is the scariest place I've ever been."
3. Last summer my mom came for a visit. I picked her up in Long Island and scared her half to death just by driving on Flatbush Ave (think Frogger). Then we roll up to find parking on my street and I must have taken a parking spot someone wanted because the lady drove down the street very fast to get the spot and just waited thinking I would leave. I didn't, obviously, and got out of the car. However, my mom was too scared to get out with the lady in the car across the street and stayed put until she gave up and drove off.
4. Last summer I went out with some girlfriends and did myself up pretty good. With my little black dress on I had the neighborhood guys shouting and even crossing the street for a closer look. I think it was then T decided to drive me into the city to drop me off to meet the girls.
5. The night before my first day at my new school there was a commotion across the street in the parking lot. I looked over the scene from my window to see bats breaking car windows and hitting dogs, thugs rolling up from out of nowhere with weapons, and even a gun drawn- after the police came and left.
6. There are always stripped cars along the sidewalks and the locals hang out in them and smoke and drink throughout the night.
7. There's a kid on the street who, every time she sees me, asks, "Yo Missus, you taken your dog out today or what?" I couldn't for the life of me figure out what she was talking about after explaining to her, every time she asks, I don't own a dog. Then I realized there's another woman in my building who owns a black lab. The little girl must think we are the same person, even though we look very different.
8. When the weather is warm, the guys on the street set up their BBQs and little kiddie pools on the sidewalks and there is always much fun to be had among the neighbors. My favorite with this part is seeing the woman a couple of buildings away nursing her baby while drinking a 40 oz. from a paper bag.
9. The old man who lives next door and is always sitting on his stoop smoking used to cat-call me as I walked by. But, without any recognition on my part, he has smartened up and started to actually say, "How are you today young lady?"
10. 4th of July, I parked the car and unloaded groceries. I had to run back down to the car and there was one of the neighborhood thugs commenting on my car. I walked over to the car hearing him say, "Who's fucking car is this? California plates huh? What the fuck?" When he saw me I asked him if there was a problem and he said there was not. However, between then and the following week, T noticed someone had keyed the entire side of my car. Go figure.
It's always an adventure on this block. But, since being in TO for a week, I lost my "city edge" I'm now tired of it all. Saturday morning I was up early (like 5:30am) and headed to the corner store for some half and half around 7am. Walking across 4th Ave a car started honking and yelling, "Aye Mommy Mommy" as I walked alone through the crosswalk. 7am! Geesh! Then, last night I went to get some ice cream at about 10:30pm at the same store and had to deal with at least 20 people just hanging on the street outside my apartment. That's always a fun walk, especially with the three pit bulls waiting to tear anyone who walks by to pieces. The, to cap off my week home, T and I were walking home from the new Target that opened and a crazy woman on a scooter tried to run me over. She was coming towards us and I stepped closer to T to let her pass, she changed her direction to bee-line right for me and then called me a stupid bitch as she rode by. Actually she said, "Watch where you are going you stupid white bitch." Oh, my Target shopping experience was totally ruined by that one.
Yes, I'd rather buy an apartment and move than deal with all this crap anymore. I stayed up late looking at listings and can find nothing we could afford in areas where we would like to live. Sure, we could live in Ditmas or East New York, but then I'd never be allowed to leave the apartment after dark. Lame Brooklyn shit. Yet there are a couple of things that redeem the space. The guys who work at the auto shop next door like me and are always chatty and friendly whenever I see them. Curious about school and T and the kittens. Just nice guys. They even gave me a deal on my replacement side mirror when that got knocked off last Fall. They even sometimes give me a parking spot on the street when I come home from work if they have one to give up. These guys, Butch especially, redeem this block with their, "Hey Nat!" when they see me. Oh, and T made friends with the local gang banger on the block during Fourth of July weekend and even scored some "girlfriend" for the evening. Good person to know and to know us. However, should that be necessary to live somewhere and feel good about it?
I love the city- I do. The diversity and the experiences are unlike anywhere else in this country (or world for some people), yet I am growing tired of certain aspects of city living. Well, not necessarily city living, but where we live. I'm done with the "wrong" side of Fourth Avenue in Park Slope.
Park Slope is generally considered the best place to live. Great schools, beautiful brownstone buildings, fun shopping, and lots of train and bus access. However, we live on the "other side of the slope". There aren't many residential buildings on our block and we are one of few white folk who live on the block. Yep, J-Lo could have been Jenny from our block. We picked the apartment because it has two rooms, is a floor thru space with a roof deck, and is really close to the train stop (literally at the end of the block). Oh, and the rent was good. From the first time I was in our place I knew it was going to be a test of strength to stay. Now that we've been here for over a year, I am itching to get the hell out. Just some fun day to day experiences on our block for me:
1. T moved in first while I was still living in CA. While out over Spring Break, I was interviewing at some schools and heading towards the train. A guy walks by me and says, "You's the prettiest bitch I ever seen."
2. Last summer after I moved in the big brother and his girlfriend were in the city and she took the train out from mid-town by herself to meet us at the apartment for a concert in Prospect Park. She got off the train and walked hurriedly to the apartment with a scared expression saying "This is the scariest place I've ever been."
3. Last summer my mom came for a visit. I picked her up in Long Island and scared her half to death just by driving on Flatbush Ave (think Frogger). Then we roll up to find parking on my street and I must have taken a parking spot someone wanted because the lady drove down the street very fast to get the spot and just waited thinking I would leave. I didn't, obviously, and got out of the car. However, my mom was too scared to get out with the lady in the car across the street and stayed put until she gave up and drove off.
4. Last summer I went out with some girlfriends and did myself up pretty good. With my little black dress on I had the neighborhood guys shouting and even crossing the street for a closer look. I think it was then T decided to drive me into the city to drop me off to meet the girls.
5. The night before my first day at my new school there was a commotion across the street in the parking lot. I looked over the scene from my window to see bats breaking car windows and hitting dogs, thugs rolling up from out of nowhere with weapons, and even a gun drawn- after the police came and left.
6. There are always stripped cars along the sidewalks and the locals hang out in them and smoke and drink throughout the night.
7. There's a kid on the street who, every time she sees me, asks, "Yo Missus, you taken your dog out today or what?" I couldn't for the life of me figure out what she was talking about after explaining to her, every time she asks, I don't own a dog. Then I realized there's another woman in my building who owns a black lab. The little girl must think we are the same person, even though we look very different.
8. When the weather is warm, the guys on the street set up their BBQs and little kiddie pools on the sidewalks and there is always much fun to be had among the neighbors. My favorite with this part is seeing the woman a couple of buildings away nursing her baby while drinking a 40 oz. from a paper bag.
9. The old man who lives next door and is always sitting on his stoop smoking used to cat-call me as I walked by. But, without any recognition on my part, he has smartened up and started to actually say, "How are you today young lady?"
10. 4th of July, I parked the car and unloaded groceries. I had to run back down to the car and there was one of the neighborhood thugs commenting on my car. I walked over to the car hearing him say, "Who's fucking car is this? California plates huh? What the fuck?" When he saw me I asked him if there was a problem and he said there was not. However, between then and the following week, T noticed someone had keyed the entire side of my car. Go figure.
It's always an adventure on this block. But, since being in TO for a week, I lost my "city edge" I'm now tired of it all. Saturday morning I was up early (like 5:30am) and headed to the corner store for some half and half around 7am. Walking across 4th Ave a car started honking and yelling, "Aye Mommy Mommy" as I walked alone through the crosswalk. 7am! Geesh! Then, last night I went to get some ice cream at about 10:30pm at the same store and had to deal with at least 20 people just hanging on the street outside my apartment. That's always a fun walk, especially with the three pit bulls waiting to tear anyone who walks by to pieces. The, to cap off my week home, T and I were walking home from the new Target that opened and a crazy woman on a scooter tried to run me over. She was coming towards us and I stepped closer to T to let her pass, she changed her direction to bee-line right for me and then called me a stupid bitch as she rode by. Actually she said, "Watch where you are going you stupid white bitch." Oh, my Target shopping experience was totally ruined by that one.
Yes, I'd rather buy an apartment and move than deal with all this crap anymore. I stayed up late looking at listings and can find nothing we could afford in areas where we would like to live. Sure, we could live in Ditmas or East New York, but then I'd never be allowed to leave the apartment after dark. Lame Brooklyn shit. Yet there are a couple of things that redeem the space. The guys who work at the auto shop next door like me and are always chatty and friendly whenever I see them. Curious about school and T and the kittens. Just nice guys. They even gave me a deal on my replacement side mirror when that got knocked off last Fall. They even sometimes give me a parking spot on the street when I come home from work if they have one to give up. These guys, Butch especially, redeem this block with their, "Hey Nat!" when they see me. Oh, and T made friends with the local gang banger on the block during Fourth of July weekend and even scored some "girlfriend" for the evening. Good person to know and to know us. However, should that be necessary to live somewhere and feel good about it?
Monday, July 26, 2004
Wedding?
I spent a week in California with my parents trying to plan a wedding. I guess I shouldn't say a wedding- MY wedding, T and I's wedding. Not a real fun subject in our house since the engagement in April.
I know I want to marry T- it's the wedding details I'm struggling to find fun. We had initially talked about a city hall wedding here in NYC with a party on the east coast and a party on the west coast. Then we talked about a small wedding/party on the west coast with a fabu honeymoon somewhere erotic (um, I mean exotic). But, talking with my mom and Suburban Flip, I actually came to terms with the fact I have kind of dreamed about a wedding- wedding since I was a kid. I'm not crazy with a notebook I've kept since I was twelve or anything, but I have pictured myself in that white dress walking down the aisle towards the man I want to spend the rest of my days with. But, after going through a certain amount of relationship hell and finally figuring out who I am, my thinking has changed. Yes, I want a white dress. Yes, I want to walk down some sort of aisle towards T. Yes, I want a fantastic party with lots of drinking and dancing. But, do I really want a wedding in a place I no longer call home? With me living in NYC, does having your wedding in CA make it a "destination wedding"?
Well, T and I put together our list of priorities (white dress, great party location, a certain flower present, and a great honeymoon after to de-stress and get back to being us again), and decided to forego much that occurs during a traditional wedding (no matching dresses for the ladies and no tuxes for the guys, outdoor ceremony performed by someone we know and who knows us, no changing of the last name). When we got engaged, T and I put my parents on speaker phone and had a little conference as to what we want and what they want. My dad seemed excited to "share the expense" as he said he wanted to be traditional and foot most of the bill (as much as he could afford anyway). So the planning began. Via the Internet, we were able to scout possible locations and bridal stores that looked promising, we arranged for me to fly out there to check out these places and take pictures along with detailed notes, and then we would take the next few months to decide what we can afford to make our final decisions in December when we were both out there for the holidays.
All was going according to our plan. The first day I was there (besides being delayed in Long Island on a SWA plane on the runway for 5 hours) my best friend, my mom, and I went dress shopping. It was amazing to see their reaction as I tried on the first dress. My mom got pretty teary and I knew that was it- wedding wedding here we come. We looked at 3 dress stores that day and found "the dress" at the last shop before heading home. Again, I'm in the mind set of no final decisions, but this dress really seemed to be made for me. Then it was a few days of site searches and meetings with wedding coordinators at these sites. We are looking for a unique location that suits us- no banquet/hotel rooms for us. My mom and I fell in love with one site and were conferring about it back home when all hell broke loose with my dad. It turns nasty real quick and I realized he didn't really understand what it costs to get married these days. There was a lot of tension, crying, yelling, and anxiety, but I managed to get out of there alive and still wanting to get married.
But, now I'm home and T and I have really been talking about what we really want. I did realize I want a wedding. However, we are now talking realistic future stuff. Maybe we should look to use wedding money to buy an apartment and then have a party in a few years (like Anna and Bob-such inspiration). But, how do we have a wedding that I'm now convinced I want AND buy an apartment? Then there's the fact that if we got married and applied for the loans, we'd get better deals with two shared incomes and better tax breaks as marrieds. Yet- I REFUSE TO BE MARRIED UNDER GWB'S AMERICA! EQUALITY FOR ALL OR FOR NO ONE. A little extreme maybe, but I can't understand why I should be allowed special rights above those who are already together with children (that's for you MadScooter).
Where did I get off on this subject? I'm tired and need to get a better night's sleep. Yet, wedding or apartment?
I spent a week in California with my parents trying to plan a wedding. I guess I shouldn't say a wedding- MY wedding, T and I's wedding. Not a real fun subject in our house since the engagement in April.
I know I want to marry T- it's the wedding details I'm struggling to find fun. We had initially talked about a city hall wedding here in NYC with a party on the east coast and a party on the west coast. Then we talked about a small wedding/party on the west coast with a fabu honeymoon somewhere erotic (um, I mean exotic). But, talking with my mom and Suburban Flip, I actually came to terms with the fact I have kind of dreamed about a wedding- wedding since I was a kid. I'm not crazy with a notebook I've kept since I was twelve or anything, but I have pictured myself in that white dress walking down the aisle towards the man I want to spend the rest of my days with. But, after going through a certain amount of relationship hell and finally figuring out who I am, my thinking has changed. Yes, I want a white dress. Yes, I want to walk down some sort of aisle towards T. Yes, I want a fantastic party with lots of drinking and dancing. But, do I really want a wedding in a place I no longer call home? With me living in NYC, does having your wedding in CA make it a "destination wedding"?
Well, T and I put together our list of priorities (white dress, great party location, a certain flower present, and a great honeymoon after to de-stress and get back to being us again), and decided to forego much that occurs during a traditional wedding (no matching dresses for the ladies and no tuxes for the guys, outdoor ceremony performed by someone we know and who knows us, no changing of the last name). When we got engaged, T and I put my parents on speaker phone and had a little conference as to what we want and what they want. My dad seemed excited to "share the expense" as he said he wanted to be traditional and foot most of the bill (as much as he could afford anyway). So the planning began. Via the Internet, we were able to scout possible locations and bridal stores that looked promising, we arranged for me to fly out there to check out these places and take pictures along with detailed notes, and then we would take the next few months to decide what we can afford to make our final decisions in December when we were both out there for the holidays.
All was going according to our plan. The first day I was there (besides being delayed in Long Island on a SWA plane on the runway for 5 hours) my best friend, my mom, and I went dress shopping. It was amazing to see their reaction as I tried on the first dress. My mom got pretty teary and I knew that was it- wedding wedding here we come. We looked at 3 dress stores that day and found "the dress" at the last shop before heading home. Again, I'm in the mind set of no final decisions, but this dress really seemed to be made for me. Then it was a few days of site searches and meetings with wedding coordinators at these sites. We are looking for a unique location that suits us- no banquet/hotel rooms for us. My mom and I fell in love with one site and were conferring about it back home when all hell broke loose with my dad. It turns nasty real quick and I realized he didn't really understand what it costs to get married these days. There was a lot of tension, crying, yelling, and anxiety, but I managed to get out of there alive and still wanting to get married.
But, now I'm home and T and I have really been talking about what we really want. I did realize I want a wedding. However, we are now talking realistic future stuff. Maybe we should look to use wedding money to buy an apartment and then have a party in a few years (like Anna and Bob-such inspiration). But, how do we have a wedding that I'm now convinced I want AND buy an apartment? Then there's the fact that if we got married and applied for the loans, we'd get better deals with two shared incomes and better tax breaks as marrieds. Yet- I REFUSE TO BE MARRIED UNDER GWB'S AMERICA! EQUALITY FOR ALL OR FOR NO ONE. A little extreme maybe, but I can't understand why I should be allowed special rights above those who are already together with children (that's for you MadScooter).
Where did I get off on this subject? I'm tired and need to get a better night's sleep. Yet, wedding or apartment?
Friday, July 23, 2004
I love the quizzes...
You sang lead for Blondie and your still famous today, way to go! You're pretty and even though you were a bit 'pop' you made a big difference on the music world, especially for women rockers
I took the personality quiz too...
Wackiness: 24/100
Rationality: 34/100
Constructiveness: 40/100
Leadership: 40/100
You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.You are not to be messed with. You may explode.
Wackiness: 24/100
Rationality: 34/100
Constructiveness: 40/100
Leadership: 40/100
You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.You are not to be messed with. You may explode.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Finally...
Finally I have energy to write. The last month has been hectic, tiring, and filled with too much to do in a short amount of time.
School finally ended last week (my official working day was June 28). To prepare for the end of the year with my students, I not only had 26 report cards to complete, I also had 15 potential hold-over portfolios to put together. Since Mayor Bloomberg decided the citywide tests the third graders took in April were the "end all to end all", I had to prepare for my potentials. These would be the students that were not currently reading at a third grade level that may have failed the tests. Thus, 15 potential portfolios were put together for the "what if" chance. In these portfolios were work from each student (reading logs, writing samples, math assessments, citywide literacy assessments, and reading observations I made throughout the year)to prove to the Mayor and his group of bullies at Tweed (just like the old days once again-Gangs of New York history here) if the student should be promoted regardless of the test results or if, in fact, the student should repeat third grade. My class, the dubbed "class from hell" was pretty much expected to perform the worst on these tests. The test results finally came to us two weeks before school let out and I couldn't have been more proud. Only 4 students failed the reading test and 3 failed the math test. As my assistant principal handed me the results she said, "You have reason to be very proud." Goddamn- I am proud. It looks as though I actually did make a difference with these kids this year. For all the hardships and pain and grief they caused me, they were still little sponges absorbing all I could try and teach them. Turns out I only needed 7 portfolios and two of those were students who were reading at the third grade level but must have just screwed up on the test so the school was going to make an appeal to the Board of Education on their behalf. So with all that excitement I radiated, it sure pissed off some other third grade teachers whose class didn't perform as well. They were mostly pissed because my "horrible" class did better than their "perfect" class. Yeah me. Seriously, I couldn't stop patting myself on the back for days. Another realization I am good at what I do. After the test results came back and we knew who were potential hold-overs, we started to figure out class lists for next year. Promote those that passed and hold back those that failed. Now, not all those third graders that failed the city-wide tests will have to take third grade again next year. After Mayor Bloomberg got the results of the tests and realized 12,000 third graders in NYC had failed he needed a plan B. So these kids can go to summer school and then retake the test in August. Then, in August, if they pass they move on the fourth grade and if they fail (again) they stay back to repeat third grade for one more year. Well, for paperwork to get done for next year, those potential holdovers still need to be placed in a third grade class for next year and then they can mix and match after summer school and the retake in August. I started to get the paperwork for second graders coming up to my class for next year and got excited. Looked like no behavior problems and students right on grade level (I do love teaching Vygotsky's way). Then I started to get some hold-overs. I talked to my assistant principal and she said there are two classes taking the majority of the hold-overs for next year as a kind of "holding place" for the paperwork. The other teacher taking hold-overs is probably the most respected and successful third grade teacher at the school. After telling a few colleagues about my situation with the hold-overs for next year, they asked, "Did your students do well on the tests?" That's the answer. They think I'm a good teacher (now) that can help these kids in need so they are giving them to me. I guess it's a compliment of sorts, but right now my class for next year is 39 students and growing. Wish these kids luck in August or I'm screwed come September.
OK, enough of school. Last week T and I went to see Fahrenheit 9/11. I was appalled and sick to my stomach for the majority of the movie. My sickness wasn't due to the film itself (I rather enjoyed it), but about the misfits in our current administration. I cried. Really cried. Not just for the patriotic mother who lost her son, but for our country. I really never considered myself a big political person, but since 2000, my uneasiness and unhappiness with this country and only grown stronger and more passionate. I marched in April to protect women's reproductive rights. I sent money (that I don't even have) to the Democratic Campaign. I have filled out surveys for Hillary Clinton. I even bought a damn shirt expressing my hatred towards the current Prez. What I realize matters most though is November 2. I already have my shirts and sweatshirts to raise the date in people's lives ("NOVEMBER 2" simply and clearly stated). I will do my part and I believe if every woman votes we will get this bushwacker out of office in 2004. If not, I'm moving to Canada.
On to other exciting news. My friend from Seattle came out to visit for a long 4th of July weekend. It was great to see her and I had fun taking her around the city (for her first time), but man did she wear me out. She's quite a negative person and everything was like pulling teeth. There's a constant reassurance she feels she needs from others and that, in turn, makes her socially awkward. Her lack of education makes her even harder to talk to and she seems to live her life through those in movies. I feel bad for her because I don't think she's happy with her life right now and it's affecting her socially, emotionally, and physically. Just the two of us- we had a blast talking and catching up. Around others it just got annoying (poor T was about to kill himself- he's a good man for this one). My greatest achievement from that trip was taking her on a massive driving tour through Manhattan- yes, me as the driver in my little Honda. That made me proud and I really felt like a New Yorker. Since she left on Monday, I have had horrible headaches and have been sleeping like a depressed person.
But, tomorrow morning T and I are driving up to New London, NH to check out some possible living places for M&M so that makes me happy. The excitement to get those two out to the east coast makes me overjoyed and brimming with happiness. Can't wait.
Finally I have energy to write. The last month has been hectic, tiring, and filled with too much to do in a short amount of time.
School finally ended last week (my official working day was June 28). To prepare for the end of the year with my students, I not only had 26 report cards to complete, I also had 15 potential hold-over portfolios to put together. Since Mayor Bloomberg decided the citywide tests the third graders took in April were the "end all to end all", I had to prepare for my potentials. These would be the students that were not currently reading at a third grade level that may have failed the tests. Thus, 15 potential portfolios were put together for the "what if" chance. In these portfolios were work from each student (reading logs, writing samples, math assessments, citywide literacy assessments, and reading observations I made throughout the year)to prove to the Mayor and his group of bullies at Tweed (just like the old days once again-Gangs of New York history here) if the student should be promoted regardless of the test results or if, in fact, the student should repeat third grade. My class, the dubbed "class from hell" was pretty much expected to perform the worst on these tests. The test results finally came to us two weeks before school let out and I couldn't have been more proud. Only 4 students failed the reading test and 3 failed the math test. As my assistant principal handed me the results she said, "You have reason to be very proud." Goddamn- I am proud. It looks as though I actually did make a difference with these kids this year. For all the hardships and pain and grief they caused me, they were still little sponges absorbing all I could try and teach them. Turns out I only needed 7 portfolios and two of those were students who were reading at the third grade level but must have just screwed up on the test so the school was going to make an appeal to the Board of Education on their behalf. So with all that excitement I radiated, it sure pissed off some other third grade teachers whose class didn't perform as well. They were mostly pissed because my "horrible" class did better than their "perfect" class. Yeah me. Seriously, I couldn't stop patting myself on the back for days. Another realization I am good at what I do. After the test results came back and we knew who were potential hold-overs, we started to figure out class lists for next year. Promote those that passed and hold back those that failed. Now, not all those third graders that failed the city-wide tests will have to take third grade again next year. After Mayor Bloomberg got the results of the tests and realized 12,000 third graders in NYC had failed he needed a plan B. So these kids can go to summer school and then retake the test in August. Then, in August, if they pass they move on the fourth grade and if they fail (again) they stay back to repeat third grade for one more year. Well, for paperwork to get done for next year, those potential holdovers still need to be placed in a third grade class for next year and then they can mix and match after summer school and the retake in August. I started to get the paperwork for second graders coming up to my class for next year and got excited. Looked like no behavior problems and students right on grade level (I do love teaching Vygotsky's way). Then I started to get some hold-overs. I talked to my assistant principal and she said there are two classes taking the majority of the hold-overs for next year as a kind of "holding place" for the paperwork. The other teacher taking hold-overs is probably the most respected and successful third grade teacher at the school. After telling a few colleagues about my situation with the hold-overs for next year, they asked, "Did your students do well on the tests?" That's the answer. They think I'm a good teacher (now) that can help these kids in need so they are giving them to me. I guess it's a compliment of sorts, but right now my class for next year is 39 students and growing. Wish these kids luck in August or I'm screwed come September.
OK, enough of school. Last week T and I went to see Fahrenheit 9/11. I was appalled and sick to my stomach for the majority of the movie. My sickness wasn't due to the film itself (I rather enjoyed it), but about the misfits in our current administration. I cried. Really cried. Not just for the patriotic mother who lost her son, but for our country. I really never considered myself a big political person, but since 2000, my uneasiness and unhappiness with this country and only grown stronger and more passionate. I marched in April to protect women's reproductive rights. I sent money (that I don't even have) to the Democratic Campaign. I have filled out surveys for Hillary Clinton. I even bought a damn shirt expressing my hatred towards the current Prez. What I realize matters most though is November 2. I already have my shirts and sweatshirts to raise the date in people's lives ("NOVEMBER 2" simply and clearly stated). I will do my part and I believe if every woman votes we will get this bushwacker out of office in 2004. If not, I'm moving to Canada.
On to other exciting news. My friend from Seattle came out to visit for a long 4th of July weekend. It was great to see her and I had fun taking her around the city (for her first time), but man did she wear me out. She's quite a negative person and everything was like pulling teeth. There's a constant reassurance she feels she needs from others and that, in turn, makes her socially awkward. Her lack of education makes her even harder to talk to and she seems to live her life through those in movies. I feel bad for her because I don't think she's happy with her life right now and it's affecting her socially, emotionally, and physically. Just the two of us- we had a blast talking and catching up. Around others it just got annoying (poor T was about to kill himself- he's a good man for this one). My greatest achievement from that trip was taking her on a massive driving tour through Manhattan- yes, me as the driver in my little Honda. That made me proud and I really felt like a New Yorker. Since she left on Monday, I have had horrible headaches and have been sleeping like a depressed person.
But, tomorrow morning T and I are driving up to New London, NH to check out some possible living places for M&M so that makes me happy. The excitement to get those two out to the east coast makes me overjoyed and brimming with happiness. Can't wait.
