Saturday, September 30, 2006
LOSING IT...
I am sick. Physically, emotionally and mentally sick. School is out of control and the stress is taking its toll on my body in all the ways it can. Since the start of school (only 19 school days ago), my class has become more and more undesirable to be around. From the start of the year, I have asked for help from the administration. With 28 students in my class and so many behaviorally and emotionally challenged students in one room, I have been unable to really teach. Most of my time has been spent managing and controlling the students. I have students that are so severely challenged I find myself chasing them around the school or cradling them like babies while they cry on my shoulder. Think I am kidding? Not a chance. I have had challenging students before, but never so many at one time. Asking for help had my administration respond with "what would you like us to do?" Since I am now tenured (finally), my suggestion to them is always do to their job. I mean, that is what they get paid 6 figures for isn't it?
Last year we had 3 dual language classrooms, 2 self-contained ESL classrooms, and 4 monolingual classrooms in the 3rd grade. Because the school finally added self-contained special education classes this year, they physically didn't have the space to keep all classes. Therefore, the school got rid of 1 of the monolingual classrooms in the third grade. Instead of looking at the student population on the grade level registers, they packed the kids into 3 monolingual classrooms. Each of us had between 26 and 29 students in our rooms while the dual and ESL classrooms each had about 20 students. AND, the monolingual classrooms had all the behavior problems. That meant each of us (3 teachers) had between 6-8 problemed children. Unfair? Absolutely. When I questioned the administration about this change the only answer I got was they needed the physical space. When asked what I would like to do about it, I asked for them to reopen a 3rd grade classroom. Every time I asked I was told that was impossible to do. I also asked for an aide in my room because of my runners. So, the second week of school their big idea was to switch around some of the kids bewteen the 3 classes (which still did nothing about high population but was done in hopes of changing the dynamic of the rooms). Instead of sitting with the 3 teachers and asking about the students themselves, the administration just started making changes. They took 2 kids away from my class (one was a behavior problem that I had already met with the mom and started to control, and the other was a child who was held-over with no behavioral issues). For those two students, I got THE behavior problem in the grade, an emotionally special child (to add to my other 2), and a child who actually got into a fight with his 3rd grade teacher and the parent requested the child out of her room. Again, fair? C-MON!!! I also had 2 parents come to me complaining their child isn't learning and they are scared to come to school because of the other students' rowdy behavior.
Within a week of this change, THE behavior problem of the grade got into at least 1 fist fight a day with a child in my class (and I am talking full on swinging with bloody noses and black eyes as a result), 2 students tried to run out of the building at least one time a day (no more wearing heels to school since I have to chase them up and down stairs to contain them), and the emotional children cried almost all day long (no, that's not a distraction at all). Word got out I had asked 2 colleagues for letters of recommendation because I HAD to leave to save myself, I convinced the other 2 teachers to start really complaining, and I asked my union representative to come observe my classroom. So the principal started to come around and kiss some ass (3 fucking weeks after school started and after seeing me chasing students around the fucking building with no help from her) and decided maybe reopening another classroom would be in the best interest of the students. She contacted the region about this change and within 3 working days it happened- another 3rd grade was opened and some students from each room moved to the new teacher's room. Something they told me that was impossible took 3 fucking working days. Glad I get paid to do these people's job. Lunacy. When we sat down to make changes, I found I couldn't move any of my behavior problems. The ones that had already been moved couldn't be moved again. The ones that I already had that were pains couldn't be moved because that would be in the worst interest of the children (which is true since they are emotionally unstable- my runners and criers). So, I may have gotten rid of 6 students, none of those were problems. Therefore, still left with the class from the black lagoon.
They made these changes the day of curriculum night (last Wednesday). Curriculum night is the time when parents come to school to meet me and hear about the curriculum and such. I had two parents of moved students come to me with questions about why their child was moved. I explained it was in the best interest of their child (since both students are high level achievers who deserve better). One of the parents was one who complained to me earlier so she was fine with the change. The other parent didn't want her daughter out of my room because, apparently, I am the best. She told me, "I don't care what the problems in the room are, you are the talk of the neighborhood for being THE best 3rd grade teacher and I want my G****** to have you."
Catch 22 right? I am "the queen of classroom management" so I get stuck with the screwed up kids. I am "the test score winner" every year so I get the lowest level students. I am "the talk of the neighborhood" so parents request to have me. I can't be all those things at once. Without routines in place no teaching goes on. These first 19 school days have been about managing the class so no real teaching has been happening at all.
So I got rid of 6 good kids. Still have my hands full with the group I do have. I thought things would change until Thursday when 1 student (who was angry with me for taking a toy away from him) grabbed my hand in a threatening manner and cursed at me, 1 student cried for an entire day about a dog that died before he was born, and 1 student ran out of my room 3 times and I had to chase him each time. Apparently things aren't changing. Therefore, I am stressed out, sick, and in physical pain over this monsterous class. How the hell will I last until June 28?
I am sick. Physically, emotionally and mentally sick. School is out of control and the stress is taking its toll on my body in all the ways it can. Since the start of school (only 19 school days ago), my class has become more and more undesirable to be around. From the start of the year, I have asked for help from the administration. With 28 students in my class and so many behaviorally and emotionally challenged students in one room, I have been unable to really teach. Most of my time has been spent managing and controlling the students. I have students that are so severely challenged I find myself chasing them around the school or cradling them like babies while they cry on my shoulder. Think I am kidding? Not a chance. I have had challenging students before, but never so many at one time. Asking for help had my administration respond with "what would you like us to do?" Since I am now tenured (finally), my suggestion to them is always do to their job. I mean, that is what they get paid 6 figures for isn't it?
Last year we had 3 dual language classrooms, 2 self-contained ESL classrooms, and 4 monolingual classrooms in the 3rd grade. Because the school finally added self-contained special education classes this year, they physically didn't have the space to keep all classes. Therefore, the school got rid of 1 of the monolingual classrooms in the third grade. Instead of looking at the student population on the grade level registers, they packed the kids into 3 monolingual classrooms. Each of us had between 26 and 29 students in our rooms while the dual and ESL classrooms each had about 20 students. AND, the monolingual classrooms had all the behavior problems. That meant each of us (3 teachers) had between 6-8 problemed children. Unfair? Absolutely. When I questioned the administration about this change the only answer I got was they needed the physical space. When asked what I would like to do about it, I asked for them to reopen a 3rd grade classroom. Every time I asked I was told that was impossible to do. I also asked for an aide in my room because of my runners. So, the second week of school their big idea was to switch around some of the kids bewteen the 3 classes (which still did nothing about high population but was done in hopes of changing the dynamic of the rooms). Instead of sitting with the 3 teachers and asking about the students themselves, the administration just started making changes. They took 2 kids away from my class (one was a behavior problem that I had already met with the mom and started to control, and the other was a child who was held-over with no behavioral issues). For those two students, I got THE behavior problem in the grade, an emotionally special child (to add to my other 2), and a child who actually got into a fight with his 3rd grade teacher and the parent requested the child out of her room. Again, fair? C-MON!!! I also had 2 parents come to me complaining their child isn't learning and they are scared to come to school because of the other students' rowdy behavior.
Within a week of this change, THE behavior problem of the grade got into at least 1 fist fight a day with a child in my class (and I am talking full on swinging with bloody noses and black eyes as a result), 2 students tried to run out of the building at least one time a day (no more wearing heels to school since I have to chase them up and down stairs to contain them), and the emotional children cried almost all day long (no, that's not a distraction at all). Word got out I had asked 2 colleagues for letters of recommendation because I HAD to leave to save myself, I convinced the other 2 teachers to start really complaining, and I asked my union representative to come observe my classroom. So the principal started to come around and kiss some ass (3 fucking weeks after school started and after seeing me chasing students around the fucking building with no help from her) and decided maybe reopening another classroom would be in the best interest of the students. She contacted the region about this change and within 3 working days it happened- another 3rd grade was opened and some students from each room moved to the new teacher's room. Something they told me that was impossible took 3 fucking working days. Glad I get paid to do these people's job. Lunacy. When we sat down to make changes, I found I couldn't move any of my behavior problems. The ones that had already been moved couldn't be moved again. The ones that I already had that were pains couldn't be moved because that would be in the worst interest of the children (which is true since they are emotionally unstable- my runners and criers). So, I may have gotten rid of 6 students, none of those were problems. Therefore, still left with the class from the black lagoon.
They made these changes the day of curriculum night (last Wednesday). Curriculum night is the time when parents come to school to meet me and hear about the curriculum and such. I had two parents of moved students come to me with questions about why their child was moved. I explained it was in the best interest of their child (since both students are high level achievers who deserve better). One of the parents was one who complained to me earlier so she was fine with the change. The other parent didn't want her daughter out of my room because, apparently, I am the best. She told me, "I don't care what the problems in the room are, you are the talk of the neighborhood for being THE best 3rd grade teacher and I want my G****** to have you."
Catch 22 right? I am "the queen of classroom management" so I get stuck with the screwed up kids. I am "the test score winner" every year so I get the lowest level students. I am "the talk of the neighborhood" so parents request to have me. I can't be all those things at once. Without routines in place no teaching goes on. These first 19 school days have been about managing the class so no real teaching has been happening at all.
So I got rid of 6 good kids. Still have my hands full with the group I do have. I thought things would change until Thursday when 1 student (who was angry with me for taking a toy away from him) grabbed my hand in a threatening manner and cursed at me, 1 student cried for an entire day about a dog that died before he was born, and 1 student ran out of my room 3 times and I had to chase him each time. Apparently things aren't changing. Therefore, I am stressed out, sick, and in physical pain over this monsterous class. How the hell will I last until June 28?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Close to Tears...
i am holding off the tears- for now anyway. 2 days of school and already feeling pain. They stacked my class. No, not stacked in the good way (like last year). Yesterday was possibly the worst day of my teaching career- ever. I mean, I have been assaulted. I have been cursed at. I have been vandalized. However, nothing compares to the group of students I have in my class this year. Other teachers look at my students, all 27 of them, and ask, "what on earth did you do to deserve this?" One of the fiercest teachers at my school saw my kids in the hallway after lunch today and let out a big-eyed, open jawed "whoah". What the fuck? how will i last another 184 school days? can i make it to june 28? the PTA president's son is in my class. Today, after school, she came to me and asked why my class was stacked with ALL the worst behavior problems from the 2nd grade. She fears her son is going to suffer (he's a delightful little boy). I told her I would not be offended if she got him moved to another room. I mean, why should his learning and growth suffer because I am now the meanest fucking grump alive because of the rest of the class? he shouldn't. neither should the other 5 or 6 other students who aren't pains in the asses. i am physically twitching right now- fuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk!
i am holding off the tears- for now anyway. 2 days of school and already feeling pain. They stacked my class. No, not stacked in the good way (like last year). Yesterday was possibly the worst day of my teaching career- ever. I mean, I have been assaulted. I have been cursed at. I have been vandalized. However, nothing compares to the group of students I have in my class this year. Other teachers look at my students, all 27 of them, and ask, "what on earth did you do to deserve this?" One of the fiercest teachers at my school saw my kids in the hallway after lunch today and let out a big-eyed, open jawed "whoah". What the fuck? how will i last another 184 school days? can i make it to june 28? the PTA president's son is in my class. Today, after school, she came to me and asked why my class was stacked with ALL the worst behavior problems from the 2nd grade. She fears her son is going to suffer (he's a delightful little boy). I told her I would not be offended if she got him moved to another room. I mean, why should his learning and growth suffer because I am now the meanest fucking grump alive because of the rest of the class? he shouldn't. neither should the other 5 or 6 other students who aren't pains in the asses. i am physically twitching right now- fuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk!
